20 Feb 2010

About Physical Appearance, Clothing, hair Style and Preferences for sex Partners and Business Partners

This post probably just shows my stupidity and lack of social intelligence, but I am, what I am. So, in the evening of February, 19'th, 2010, I just wondered about 2 things. Well, may be 3 things, depends on how to look at it.

Firstly, why is it that even though I'm not that interested in sex and disqualify anyone, who is not able to provide me a stunningly intelligent conversation or does not leave me an impression that I can rely on his/her intelligence and understanding of the limits of this world, I still pay a great deal of attention to the physical appearance of him/her?

Like, I try to imagine, how he/she would be in bed, how I would cope with him/her in bed and that's with leaving sexual compatibilities like fast versus slow, etc, to aside. To me it seems that if I'm primarily looking for a sole-mate, then physical appearance shouldn't matter, but the fact is that it does matter. Actually, it even matters with my own case, but that's a different story, which can be handled by fixing the shortcomings, and I do take an assertion that before one loves anyone else, one has to love oneself, for granted.

The second thing that I started to wonder, is that why I still do not have my hair colored to blue, like the Estonian flag colour, and then have my pony-tail coloured black and white, giving blue-black-white, like the Estonian flag colours? One of the thoughts that might occur is that I won't "live it up", or, in Estonian: "kanna seda välja". Well, I think that that's not an issue, because I can be just like I am: dead-serious and deep-sceptical most of the time, without smiles, giving scary looks that are colder than ice, and then, suddenly, laugh from my heart so that people that drive by or whom I walk by, give me shy, but sincere, smiles. Strangely, I guess that the answer to this, the second, issue, is that I'm afraid that people might jump to conclusions that are not favourable to me and that might limit my possibilities to communicate with them in a manner that is favourable to me. Think business. Currently it seems to me that I have to get my business going well before I can afford such personal expressions. (NB! I guess that I just said it all. :)

Well, all in all, I came to a thought that the physical appearance (think of wearing a huge swastika on a back and front of ones T-shirt or drawn to the sides of ones' car) and physical interaction (like, sexually, but also "innocent" hugs, pats, etc.) is part of communication. As of 19.02.2010 that thought gives quite a new meaning to semiotics. To me it seems that the semiotics is all around us all the time, like applied art. One might even call it "applied semiotics", or, may be, I don't know, applied semantics? Semiotics in the context of hair dresses might be quite interesting. Or cars, the may-be-third thing that I started to wonder about. I mean, it does make a difference, if one rolls to or from a business meeting with a beetle, Harley-Davidson, limo or a tuned BMV.

The next thought from here is marketing. As a matter of fact I started to see ordinary, every-day, communication astonishingly differently during a series of marketing lectures that were part of a introductory business course that was held within the Mainori Kõrgkool and conducted by Mrs. Aet Kull. Aren't we doing marketing duering dates? As a matter of fact I've been comparing job interviews with (blind) dates since at least 2004. I find them remarkably similar.

In the context of this post, namely, "applied semiotics" point of view combined with my likes and dislikes, I find the George Michael's video, "Fast Love", very interesting.


Anonymous said...

First, instead of even mentioning Estonian laws, do blog at some place inaccessible by these. Why do some people seek for more laws to obey while others find a place and modus vivendi where less laws concern them?

Then, and it was the main reason to comment your article - there are some other categories of activities which are remarkable similar to job interview and dating. Like hacking. Like repairing the electronics or cars or IT systems. However, to understand this, you have to build some systems in your life and then, to analyse some systems built by somebody else. Well, like a micro-creator in a competetitive environment.

While hacking or repairing, you have someone's mind against yours (for technology, it is the mind of designer). While hacking a woman, the mind against your's is the one of the Creator's. The difference is that in simple (techno-) cases this foreign to you mind is frozen and cannot act against you in real time. But the remaining situation is the same (exept you probably won't get laid by a machine). You are mapping some structure (reality against your brain) and drawing some conclusions. And, at least while at start, you don't know what is the outcome.

So the claim is - which mind are you enjoying during the dating process - the Creator's mind which just injected some ml of hormons into the females brain so that that kind look nice? Or?

Martin Vahi said...

Thank You for the thoughtful comment.

What regards to publishing somewhere outside of Estonia, then the blogspot probably is outside of Estonia. The thing is that as long as my identity is known and I live in EU or some jurisdiction that closely cooperates with the EU, it doesn't matter, where the servers reside. The Internet is the same everywhere.

I guess that the reason, why such stupidities like compulsory censoring, are enforced is that our so called e-state is too hierarchical and obviously an average good programmer does not have enough time, or the will, to climb the "corporate ladder", even if that corporation is called "Estonian state".

I believe that it's up to others to evaluate, how good/bad I am at my profession, but one thing is absolutely certain: when I first enrolled to a university, I got to enroll to exactly where I wanted to enroll (amongst my possibilities within Estonia) and as of March 2010 I still think that I made the right decision. I think that if I wanted to manage other people or climb corporate ladders, I would have chosen the Economics faculty in stead. As of March 2010 I think that specialists know them selves the best, how they can achieve the best results and any kind of leading, i.e. taking decisions about other people's activities, only enforces the specialists to perform inadequate activities, because by definition, the specialist is the smartest one in the team.